I came across these ideas through a mail! Just compiling the thoughts together in the chain mails..
1. Telemarketer: We are offerring you personal loan with 10% interest.
Me: I want it at 0%. Can you give that?
2. Telemarketer: We are giving you Credit card free for lifetime. You just need to give some documents. When shall our representative meet you?
Me: I will not give any document. You just send the credit card. I will give the address
3. Telemarketer: I am calling from xyz bank. Would be interested in personal loan?
Suresh: How much can you give?
Telemarketer: Upto 20 lakhs sir
Suresh: No, that is too less for me. I need more.
Telemarketer: Oh ok. I can speak to my manager sir. How much are you looking for.
Suresh: 17 crores.
Telemarketer: I am sorry sir! Is it 17 crores? Why so much sir?
Suresh: Because I want to purchase your office and kick you out.
4. As soon as the telemarketer called,
Suresh: Thank you for calling on this number. This is ____centre. It is international support number. You are being charged Rs. 60 per minute. If you want to continue dial 1 else you can visit our support site _____ for self help.
5. After the telemarketer finishes speaking, propose marriage to him/her.
6. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her, to give you his/her home phone number and cell number so you can call back maybe very late at night.
7. Keep asking the telemarketer to tell you his spiel all over again. Do this several times.
8. If you receive a call during a meal, tell the telemarketer that it’s lunch time, but ask him/her to hold. Switch to loudspeaker mode and eat your food in a languid noisy fashion, chomping away and continuing with the conversation.
9. Tell the telemarketer that all business goes through your representative, and hand the phone to your five-year-old.
10. Say that you are hard of hearing and that he/she needs to speak up — louder — louder — louder!
11. Tell the telemarketer to speak *really really* slowly because you want to write every word down.
12. If the telemarketer starts off with “How are you today?”, say “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems…”
13. Cry out in astonishment, “Johnny, is that you? I’ve been hoping you’d call! How is the family?” When he/she insists it’s not Johnny, refuse to believe it and say, “Stop kidding me!” This works especially well if the telemarketer is female.
14. Tell the telemarketer to call at your office number and give him/her the number of a rival telemarketing organisation instead!
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